🤷‍♀️ Why Being Single Isn't The End Of The F***ing World

If you’re reading this, you, like the majority of people out there facing existential crises in their twenties, are probably lonely. You scroll through the endless photos of people getting engaged on Instagram, couples PDA-ing down the sidewalk, lifelong friends getting married… and you wonder why that can’t be you.

It’s natural. Even people with significant others get lonely. I get lonely.

But I think that as a whole, we’ve come to idealize relationships and mask the underlying issues that come with them. Nobody wants to talk about the real baggage to unpack, like the stress of planning what to do on Valentine’s Day, the realization of how different your lifestyles are when you move in together, and the constant questioning of whether you really see a future with this person. And then one day, even the smallest things about them start to annoy you. The way he leaves his socks on the floor and never cleans up after himself. The way she never shows up to your dates on time. How you somehow always end up paying for the meal.

Sometimes, you can work out those differences. Other times, it just doesn’t work. That’s okay.
It’s not the end of the fucking world if you split ways.

The truth that everyone needs to hear?

You can't rely on another person for your happiness.

If you think that finding someone is immediately going to solve your problems, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise. (In fact, they’re probably going to add more problems to your life).

A relationship is not a cure to depression. Nor is it an excuse to stop setting personal goals for yourself. It’s a great feeling to be with the person you “love”, but if you find yourself focusing on them to the point where you start ignoring all your friends' texts and see GCal reminders with only your SO’s name, maybe start questioning whether this relationship is really sustainable in the long-term.

You always need to be prepared for the event in which they leave. Emphasis on the word prepared. Of course, nobody wants it to happen. But if you’re going to deny the possibility before it even takes place (if it takes place, that is), how are you going to face reality when it does happen?

I’m writing this post as if these points should be obvious to everyone, but they really aren’t. It took a good amount of shitstorms for me to realize this. I’ve been through it. I’ve witnessed my friends go through painful breakups. Somehow, we always end up thinking that this person is special, and should be treated as an exception of sorts. These rules don’t apply to us. No way that would ever happen. We’re too good.

That’s a naïve way of thinking that’ll only add salt to your wounds later on.

I’ve been told to lower my standards when it comes to finding someone. But I don’t think I should. I think that if I’m going to devote the time and energy to improve myself, then I’m worthy of taking the time to find someone who deserves the outcome of my efforts. I’m not gonna just “settle” because I haven’t found someone on the same wavelength as me. I mean, they can be the cosθ to my sinθ, but the people I’ve met are just straight up tanθ. Like, straight up asymptotic to infinity. Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad. That sounds kinda lit. But my point still stands. After all, sin^2θ + cos^2θ makes 1. In the end, all the pythagorean identities can just be converted into each other. So I’m secretly a tanθ :^)

Anyhow, whether you’re in the middle of processing a breakup or questioning why you’re still single, you’re not alone. There’s so much more to life than finding that one person who you’re already investing your happiness into just by beating yourself up over their absence. And yeah, sometimes it sucks to see all those smooches on social media, but the inner bad bitch within you knows you can and will do better.

JVNA - Golden Hour

👩‍🔬 fukkin NERD ⚠️warning: annie zone!!♏ima scorpio what do u expect 🤔i should find someone soon 💘