π± Cat & Cat
A: “GIRL I am so confused right now. I’m so tired of playing these mind games.”
L: “Omg girl this is soo funny. We literally going through the same thing right now.”
A: “I just don’t understand why it’s so hard.”
L: “Okay, so like, guys are like dogs right. Like, you throw a ball and they’ll go after it right away. They’ll keep persisting no matter what, even if you don’t throw the ball back after a while. But girls aren’t like that. Girls are like cats. It’s like, you give them a ball and they’ll just pat it. So when you have two girls together, it’s like having two cats that just pat the ball. And they just sit there going like “Wow this is a nice ball~” But eventually one of them has to initiate the first push to get the ball rolling. Ya know what I mean?”
A: “So do you think you’ve managed to get the ball rolling? Like, have you gotten the ball to move from 1 inch to 3 inches?”
L: “Okay so we both swiped right but then I reached out and she didn’t respond so I just deleted Tinder.”
A: “GIRL WHY YOU DELETE REINSTALL RIGHT NOW!!11!” [A flails arms relentlessly]
L: “Okay but she did send me a friend request. I think I’m just going to take it step by step. Like, take initiative and then lay back and wait.”
A: “That sounds like the move. But then you’re both just gonna end up playing the waiting game.”
L: “Well, I’m not particularly in any rush right now. I think I’m going to ease into it slowly.”
A: “Okay yeah, that makes sense. If I’m ever asked whether I’m still single, I’ll be like, “Yeah but I’m in high demand so you better hurry the f*** up before I get shipped off.” People straight up be treating me like a package dusting in a warehouse when there’s drivers all around. Not that it’s particularly good or bad thing. I’m not gonna sit around and wait forever, but I ain’t about that Amazon Prime one-day free shipping either.”
A: “Okay, so who do you think wrote it? You agree with me that it sounds like them though, right? Like, this word appears in the message and they used the same word once during one of our previous conversations.”
L: “Girl you literally analyzing this like an English paper. But yeah, I agree, it sounds like them.”
A: “I mean, all that Hunter knowledge wasn’t for nothing. But also, the email address is so weird. I’m starting to doubt I even know this person.”
L: “You should bring it up in real life. Maybe ask if they’re into dinosaurs.”
A: “I’ve literally never watched Jurassic Park, let alone play video games about it. I don’t even know if the reference is intentional. It could be a totally random spam email.”
L: “I think it’s them. Literally go through your Instagram followers right now and list the names of all the bold girls.”
A: “Girl I am not doing that.”
L: “Or shoot them a direct text like “hey r u into dinosaurs””
A: “T-Rex N' Chill??”
A: “Straight up gives me sixth grade energy vibes. To be fair, I still used my email from middle school when applying for jobs. Okay, but we both agree it sounds like a girl.”
L: “Yeah I think it’s a girl. I don’t think most guys really type like that. Anyway, whoever it is, somebody is anonymously into you.”
A: “Yeah, but what’s the point if it’s anonymous?!?! Λβ§ΒΊΒ·(Λ ΛΜ£Μ£Μ₯α·βΛΜ£Μ£Μ₯α· )β§ΒΊΒ·Λ”
L: “I think you’ve just got to wait… until one day something happens.”
A: “It’s bad if I bring it up though, right?”
L: “Why is it bad if you bring it up?”
A: “Because if it’s not them, that’d be awkward as hell.”
L: “Oh because–HAHAHAH I see now.”
A: “Right? You see what I mean? I don’t know what to do. But anyway, even if this doesn’t work out, it won’t change the fact that I’m still a catch.” ππ
L: “U ARE GIRL!!”
A: “THANKS SO ARE U. GET THAT BREAD LAY THAT SPREAD”
L: “YESSS”
A: “Anyhow, I guess I’ll just wait until we’re in the β. By the way, can I put this in my blog post? I think you dropped some golden quotes in our conversation.”
L: “Go for it.”
A: “Okay, talk to you soon!!”