🍮 The People I Met There

The hospital cheesecake was really good. So good to the point that I would go back just to indulge myself in another serving of their cheesecake. I wouldn’t actually do that, of course, but the cheesecake really did overshadow the rest of the meal each time. Everything else just tasted bland. It was an “eat to live” and not “live to eat” situation.

My memories from back then are still kind of murky, but I met a couple of pretty great people who I still think about from time to time.

B was really nice. He gave me his cheeseburger, a special item that was only available upon request. He was also really good at jigsaw puzzles. We were solving a 1000+ piece puzzle as a group that was 80s-snack-themed, and he could figure out the pieces that no one knew where to put in half a second. I remember one day when I witnessed an argument between him and a nurse, and I couldn’t help but feel bad despite not knowing the details of the situation. Apparently I was trying to speak to him in Mandarin during our first interaction.

There was an LGBTQ guy from NYU who said that he really wanted to sink his teeth into a slice of buffalo chicken pizza during our first conversation. He seemed super friendly and sang incredibly well at the mini karaoke session. Even though he was one of the latest folks to join, he got along with everyone relatively quickly. I wish I remembered his Instagram username.

There was D, who I could never forget. He was a very soft spoken creative thinker and had a helix piercing. He had an emo aesthetic that I vibed with. He likes Yan-Yan. D wanted to get a PhD in psychology, a fitting field for someone of his gentle yet curious character. He told me I had photographic memory when he saw a slip of paper with a for-loop I’d written from memory because of the no-screens policy. While my memory is pretty vivid, I don’t think I do. But his words felt like a compliment. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well.

I met this girl who was just a few years older than me and was going around collecting patient surveys. She had the same name as someone I really disliked from high school, but luckily her sweet personality combatted the negative associations that emerged the moment she introduced herself. Her favorite restaurant to eat in NYC was S’MAC. Pretty good, but there’s better options out there that she isn’t aware of since she’s not from New York. I recommended Mad For Chicken. I wonder if she’s tried it yet.

The day of the karaoke session, I played “River Flows In You” on the off-tune piano for W, who was sort of like my unofficial side-doc who chatted with me from time to time. We shared a lot of common interests, particularly in Japanese culture. He told me there was a guy in the group who you could mention any Dragon Ball Z scene to, and he’d tell you the exact episode you’d find it in. He strongly recommended playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses. He said he regrets not picking up my case. Somehow, it felt nice to hear that. I sent him the OP to Season 2 of Beastars when it came out. He’s probably seen it by now. Oh man, I need to let him know that I saw Promised Neverland.

I remember another girl who was always crying by the telephone because of her boyfriend. I hope she dumped him.

The chocolate pudding cups weren’t as good as the cheesecake, but they did the job in satisfying our nighttime cravings. I remember someone took the last chocolate-flavored one and there were only the vanilla ones left. TLDR; chocolate > vanilla.

Today, whenever I inspect a pudding cup at the H Mart by Columbia, I can’t help but think back to those moments. I’ll gladly eat cheesecake with a beaming smile, but I will eat chocolate pudding in silence. As the flavors of bliss and trauma melt onto my tongue, I will wonder where you are in this world right now and hope that you are in a better place. It’s been almost two years, and the apathy I felt coming out of that place is now overshadowed by my welled-up tears. Don’t worry—they’re tears of gratitude. Give me a bit more time, and one day, I’ll be able to eat chocolate pudding with a smile.